Tag Archives: Don Quixote

Love is Answering the “Call to Destiny”

There has been much written on the subject of “destiny”.  Here is what William Shakespeare had to say about destiny:  “It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.”  Whereas Ralph Waldo Emerson characterized destiny as: “The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”  The imponderability of destiny; at least for me, can be disambiguated by a syzygy of the term “will”: as in the will will will its destiny.

We are all subject to the “Called to Destiny”; whether or not to be, to do, or to act; and for this to happen we must rely on our will; which inspires, directs, and fulfills our destiny.  How do couples will their destiny successfully and continue to remain within the boundaries of compatibility, given the myriad contours of life that too often redirects one’s will; ergo, one’s destiny?  How can relationships survive the hazards, the temptations, the pangs that play against one’s will, one’s destiny?  The answer is that we must resolve to fortify our will, especially as the will is frail; and has been since the biblical “fall of man”.

Where can we find the strength to stay the course, and beat the odds such that we frail couples can remain compatible over time?  How can couples sustain their love for each other, and still thrive as individuals while simultaneously abiding to their solemn and irrevocable commitments to each other?  For some it is a matter of religious beliefs or constraints, for others it is a question of one’s moral compass or ethics, and for others it is a cost/benefit scenario, or any combination or degree thereof.  In all events, it is the will to fulfill one’s destiny that ensures the success of any relationship.  What is to be derived from that fulfillment?  It is a sustainable level of love and happiness that fuels the will towards that destiny (a destiny steeped in true-love); which again, circles back to love and happiness.  The cycle of will and destiny, love and happiness, becomes self-reinforcing―provided that each person in the relationship answer their personal “Call to Destiny”.  However, after you have answered the “Call to Destiny” as by your inner-voice; remember that that same inner-voice, from which the answer emanated, must be translated within the context of regular and open communication with the one you love, because the “Call to Destiny” is continuous and flowing.

Answering the “Call to Destiny” is like jumping into a river, a feat in and of itself for every couple.  If one of you remains put the river of life will pass that person by, and the other person will inevitably be carried along by life’s currents; and in-time you will lose sight of one another and the relationship dissolves.  If you both remain put than life will pass both of you by, which is a destiny unfulfilled.  Therefore it is important to recognize that the “Call to Destiny” must be answered with commensurate commitment equal to the flow of life; meaning, through the seasons of twists and turns, rapids and placidness, days and nights in order to build common experiences that act to bind both of you to one destiny indivisible and insoluble.

“Mindfully cognizant that to keep well the chaste heart

That I did win, I shalt not soon forget that she devised it so.”

In the words of Don Quixote, Man of La Mancha: “My destiny calls and I go.”

 

 

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“Chivalric Love” in a Modern World

Does “chivalric love” have relevance in today’s world regarding romantic relationships? Perhaps the best way to answer the question is to describe chivalric love by stating what it is not.  Chivalric love is hardly consigned to the notion of a pre-Renaissance abstraction about brave knights fighting dragons, competing in tournaments, and reciting poetry to beautiful damsels in distress who await their champion to rescue them from evil-doers.  It is not about a man’s blind servitude and obsequious obedience to a lady in-waiting; for fear that his failure in succumbing to her whims would destroy the aim of perpetuating a dangerous romance, complicated by the intrigues of courtly-love and its triangular implications.

I view chivalric love as if it were a lens having two sides in which to perceive “love”.  Looking through one side has the power to focus on “amore” and the other on “caritas”; the former is associated with worldly manifestations of love; whereas the latter deals with the essence of spiritualized love.   Amore trades in the materiality of success; measured by the accumulation of possessions, wealth, power, sex, and money that ignites the passions of men and women to align their interests to attain these ephemeral objects.  Caritas on the other hand deals with the ethereality of significance; measured by one’s charity, purpose, consciousness, and awareness that work’s to inflame the souls of men and women in order to align themselves with God, mankind, and one’s self for the achievement of an everlasting spiritual legacy.  A successful relationship between a man and a woman is predicated on a just proportion of amore and caritas; and when that occurs chivalric love comes into being.

Many men and women are incessantly encouraged to pursue the path of amore with every intention of pursuing the ideal self, by way of caritas, once material success is attained.  However; without caritas, in other words without charity in the chivalric sense, a life can never be perfected because the frenetic pursuit of material success precludes a life from obtaining humanistic significance.  Ask yourself, will your material legacy outlast even a generation; or by your chivalric charity, will the significance of your life have an everlasting spiritual legacy?  Chivalric love leads with caritas and with it comes amore; and there is no greater opportunity to give expression to chivalric love than with the one you love, your chivalric soul-mate.   The purpose of life is not to live it with the precept that when I am successful my life will be significant; rather, when I lead a significant life I will be successful.

In the words of Don Quixote, “Therein lied the virtue and the excellence of my enterprise, for a knight errant deserves neither glory nor thanks if he goes mad for a reason. The great achievement is to lose one’s reason for no reason, and to let my lady know that if I can do this without cause, what would I do if there were a cause?” — Cervantes

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